MY CRAZY LIFE

Being the mother of 4 kids and they are all teenagers I have gave up thinking I would have down time.  My 16 year old who was diagnosed with Crohns Disease is in denial of this.  After his 3 Remicade he thinks he can go back to eating what he wants.  Now this morning Im am left to cleaning puke up and have to call the doctor.  Is this a symptom of Remicade or just Crohn’s itself.   He does not want to educate himself and thinks this will go away.. I know it wont.  Chronic my son is not something that goes away.   I am giving up the love life to find ways to help my child……

Sometimes you have to love people where they are at. My boyfriend didn’t try to kill himself because of me. We were good in fact I was the only thing in his life that was. He has to find out what else in life besides me that is good. I have to love him where he is. I know true love still exists even if its 700 miles away for now. He loves me. I know that. Feelings aren’t facts they lie to you when you don’t have the person there I think if you are in doubt talk to someone else. I am learning that loving someone takes a lot of work well worth it when they return

This is my first time trying to blog, I really am going thru a crazy time in my life, My 16 year old got diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease and the love of my life tried to commit suicide two weeks ago, and I am left with me.   Its hard because I didn’t even see the suicide attempt comming the day after valentines day, which I hate that day as it is.  I am hurt, digusted and want to ram my head in the wall of something.   The boyfriend is in Florida running from problems that he cant face head on.   So again I am left with the dying ache of hurt and depression, and thought this might be a good outlet and try to express my feelings by typing to the world.   I found this poem and it hits some of my feelings head on…………………….

Do you know that you hurt me?
Do you even care?
All the things you told me,
Felt like lies and so unfair.

I cared about you more than the world,
And when you said those 3 small words to me.
I just wanted to be with you forever,
Because you made me feel so loved and free.

I don’t know where it went wrong,
You told me you’d love me forever.
One minute we were happy,
The next we weren’t together.

I wish I could have made you see,
How wonderful and special you made me feel.
You always helped me with my problems,
You made everything feel so real.

But now I have to realize your gone,
And I can’t drive myself insane.
I’ll just have to pick up the pieces,
Of my heart that remain.

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